My pants are falling off. Again. — My pants are falling off. Again. I hitch them up and make a note of this development. I lost weight this year. This is neither a humble brag or a sickness story. I intentionally lost weight, though it wasn’t until my husband was in the hospital that I realized it…

There’s an abstract butterfly garden drying on the printer and a mangled mess of colors that looks like an Eighties Condo Sofa was… — There’s an abstract butterfly garden drying on the printer and a mangled mess of colors that looks like an Eighties Condo Sofa was attacked by a small child with a black marker on top of the lamp. They’re drying while I explain algebra on Zoom. I’ve been fighting with my…

Dying is the easy part. Especially if it’s quick. — Dying is the easy part. Especially if it’s quick. One moment you’re freshly dried off from the shower, maybe thinking about breakfast or lunch. Maybe you’re thinking through your to-do list or standing in your underwear wondering why you didn’t do the laundry yesterday. Maybe you’re looking for a matching…

Every spring, like clockwork, we arrive at the time of year when half the neighbors are guarding their mango trees like an occupying… — Every spring, like clockwork, we arrive at the time of year when half the neighbors are guarding their mango trees like an occupying security force and the other half are thrusting plastic sack-fulls at everyone they see. Avocado season will be arriving soon and with it a similar level of…

I am clearly not the first person to say this or the first person to observe this, but maybe if enough of us point it out, we can pretend… — I am clearly not the first person to say this or the first person to observe this, but maybe if enough of us point it out, we can pretend someone will listen? This past year a lot of things have become very apparent: Republicans do not have humanity’s best interest…

I’ve been trying to be a runner. — I’ve been trying to be a runner. Note: I am not a runner. I don’t really like running. Running doesn’t like me. I’m terrible at it. No amount of training seems to make me the kind of person who can just start running and be able to breathe and run…

I have not baked a single loaf of bread in the past year. Somewhere I even have a bread machine. I tried offering it to the neighbor… — I have not baked a single loaf of bread in the past year. Somewhere I even have a bread machine. I tried offering it to the neighbor because she makes stuff from scratch. I think it’s under some of my mother’s plates that I don’t need, but I couldn’t figure…